With a cat hair in my lip gloss
And “Freedom” playing in my earbuds
I push through revolving doors
Trying to block out the memory
Of another fallen lock I left on the edge of the sink that morning.
I know the inevitable looms close
And I can look it in the eye
Without ever looking down.
I belt out K Lamarr’s part before I get to 16
And finish as I arrive at 19.
There’s no such thing as random chance.
My UPS guy comes in around 9:20am to tell me
how the economy was created to lock us out of wealth.
There is no counterfeit money he says.
All money is counterfeit.
I’m terrible at math but I listen intently
Because this is not a math lesson.
I don’t know how we end up talking about a Drake song
But who cares.
Oh yes I remember,
Because I was pushing back on what I thought was his statement that
Love is not possible.
He’s a Black man so I had to tread careful.
I had to remember who he was.
Where he was coming from,
Coming from a love he had to learn all on his own
That he had to teach himself
That he’s always teaching himself.
That’s how we got to Drake.
How did I attract someone so raw to me?
What do I not know about myself?
I’m shedding a skin I thought I would always cling to.
I didn’t even know it was skin.
I thought it was me.
What other crutches
What other training wheels,
What other dead weight am I willing to lose
In order to gain myself?
What else will be revealed?