I’m at work and don’t want to be here.

I’m eating lunch like nothing is wrong.

My heart is broken and my eyes are filled with tears

and I’m chewing.

And I’m here

and people are laughing

And Black people are not ripping up the streets from it’s foundations

the way they should be.

I told my friend not to let them take away her joy

and then mine made a dash

as I watched a murder take place online.

I watched a murder and then broke down crying

And then ate my lunch.

I don’t wanna talk anymore.

I don’t wanna fucking hashtag anymore.

I don’t want another clever, hard hitting, eye opening, gut wrenching meme

to circulate, regurgitate, over and over and over and over again

until we forget.

until it becomes just another safely distant

unaddressed memory.

Until we think

well it happened to them

but it can’t happen to me!

I’m sick of watching,

sick from feeling,

tired of patching on consciousness

like it was a badge of honor

just to know some shit.

What I know is this.

I need to do some shit.

 

-ZGDaniel

7/7/16