I’m at work and don’t want to be here.
I’m eating lunch like nothing is wrong.
My heart is broken and my eyes are filled with tears
and I’m chewing.
And I’m here
and people are laughing
And Black people are not ripping up the streets from it’s foundations
the way they should be.
I told my friend not to let them take away her joy
and then mine made a dash
as I watched a murder take place online.
I watched a murder and then broke down crying
And then ate my lunch.
I don’t wanna talk anymore.
I don’t wanna fucking hashtag anymore.
I don’t want another clever, hard hitting, eye opening, gut wrenching meme
to circulate, regurgitate, over and over and over and over again
until we forget.
until it becomes just another safely distant
Until we think
well it happened to them
but it can’t happen to me!
I’m sick of watching,
sick from feeling,
tired of patching on consciousness
like it was a badge of honor
just to know some shit.
What I know is this.
I need to do some shit.